Galaxy

[shootthestar25]

Galaxy

At night, at times
You cannot see me when I reach to life
Of distant galaxies of galaxies away <-- "galaxies" repeated twice hear seems unnecessary, except that it provides the necessary syllables for a good flow.  I suggest replacing one of them with an alternative
From light-years to stars at bay.

Where you can see clouds and gasses
Not just Neptune and ashes
I've found true freedom here
Subtle knowings that take too long to process <-- This line doesn't fit with the rhythm

No aliens, No Martians
Just me and nothing alive
But I can see so much,
Not just blackness and dust <-- again, this fourth line, like the one above, mess with the flow...

I can see the eroded Earth.
Were the sea has spilled over land, <-- I assume you meant "Where" ?  
Forever Sahara, a Chernobyl wasteland
If alive, then speak; <-- These four lines work for me, and evokes a great image in my mind

I can only see you watching me. <-- I suggest removing "only", it'll make a more powerful end line
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Well, there you go. I've been trying to write shorter poetry. I've also been trying to churn out more Optimistic poetry which of course I thought was terribly cliche. Then again, I thought this was cliche, too.

I welcome all feedback.