A Cold Hearth

[Brownlie]

Four a.m., and the farmyard reveille has rallied the children;
it is dark, and Mother insists that lights are used only for necessary tasks.  Finding -- Its possible that "insists" could become a key phrase here. Though, if Mother becomes a stereotypical mother than there could be problems.
slippers must be done by touch, as mats do little to stop the winter sinking into bare feet.  -- I think this may be hindered by a lack of details. What part of the foot exactly, what type of mat, etc. I think the further you go down in detail the more interesting this would be.


The kitchen fire shows no glow of coals.  Father, drunk, forgot to bank it
again.  Little James rakes the cold ash out of the way while Jenny gathers kindling from the box by the door.  - "Little James" as a phrase runs the risk of the semantically destructive hyperbole found in "Tiny Tim."
In the copper on the ledge, last night's stew has congealed in rebuke to Mother, -- I like the idea of the accusatory homestead, but I feel a formulation of the idea has not yet been fleshed out here. I could see the wintry hearth becoming a conception in a character's head, or I could see an ostentatiously supernatural house that would be somewhat comical (such is the insensitive nature of the greedy reader).
who did not salt it satisfactorily.  The tea in the kettle has ice on the top.  

The children set the teepee and stuff it with last week's news.  Jenny warms her hands -- Now, setting the teepee could become its own poem.  As it is here, I'm not sure how common the practice is.
under her arms -- matches don't grow on trees, says Father, and one mustn't 
waste them with fumbling fingers.  

She leans in, ready to strike, and takes a breath.  The cold hearth smells of inevitability,
accusation and despair. -- You could link these feelings with a tactile detail.  In some scent that seems symbolize this type of domesticity.

The match sparks, and it begins anew. -- I mean there is definitely some technique here, you go full circle from the mother to the daughter. So you have this Ethan Frome like cycle of horrible farm life.

Well, I wouldn't necessarily call the poem nice, but I think some good points are brought up above. I think the ice in the tea seems to symbolize a failed domestic duty, hence the accusatory hearth that appears later. I think a problem with this poem is that it totters between a poem about a maternal figure and a poem about the working class. From what I gather, the two genres (if we can call them genres) are slightly different.  I will say, however, there is some subtle technique here.