Love poems edit 1.0 leah S.0.0001 erthona

[just mercedes]

Fresh words of love are hesitant, a kiss too soon meets ice; I like 'hesitant' here for the way it mimics the action
like glass upon your picture keeps my lips from touching you. this reads a bit clunky
Some say that love of words, though meant, will fail to hearts entice; don't like the reversal of word order
best keep them in some secret place, well hid from cynic's view.

You who lampoon the love struck loon with cliche cry and claim, I think love-struck needs a hyphen
forget that once the flame has left your black and empty grate,
the chill sets in, your blood runs cold, and though you feel no pain, 'blood runs cold' skirts cliche for me
another sense will heighten and your passion turn to hate.

Embrace the words of those in love, who find what once was lost,
the endless searcher, thwarted soul, bereaved, bereft, alone;
youthful but broken, bleeding hearts, dismayed when first they're crossed. the meter shift on 'youthful' sticks out
Begone the censorship of love, write on lovelorn, write on!
tectak
2014

I rarely comment on content. I do like the flow of your poem - could quibble about syllable counts and stresses but I won't. Write on!