Black Sand Beach
#23
I like the flow of the poem overall. For me personally, I'm finding some of it too dramatic and would enjoy more subtlety to it (I think i'm really dramatic in my poems aswell). I like the three words you used 'withering sidewalk elm'. It gave some great imagery for me.
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Messages In This Thread
Black Sand Beach - by Bunx - 09-09-2013, 08:17 AM
RE: Stumble - by Volaticus - 09-09-2013, 09:40 AM
RE: Stumble - by blueforest10 - 09-11-2013, 12:57 AM
RE: Stumble - by lineman10 - 09-11-2013, 01:27 AM
RE: Stumble - by Markworth - 05-03-2014, 12:15 PM
RE: Stumble - by Bunx - 05-03-2014, 11:34 PM
RE: Stumble - by poe - 05-07-2014, 12:48 AM
RE: Stumble - by Orion - 10-07-2014, 01:19 AM
RE: Stumble - by LorettaYoung - 05-07-2014, 09:45 AM
RE: Stumble - by Bunx - 05-07-2014, 01:35 PM
RE: Stumble - by benno_422 - 05-07-2014, 09:51 PM
RE: Stumble - by bbcashdollar - 05-08-2014, 01:39 AM
RE: Stumble - by Quotidia - 10-05-2014, 04:20 PM
RE: Stumble - by b.abraham - 10-07-2014, 07:16 AM
RE: Stumble - by gypsyrose - 10-13-2014, 05:10 AM
RE: Stumble - by Dymun Fengshui - 12-15-2014, 04:23 AM
RE: Stumble - by Bunx - 12-15-2014, 04:47 AM
RE: Stumble - by BW BRINE - 12-16-2014, 02:05 PM
RE: Stumble - by tectak - 12-16-2014, 08:23 PM
RE: Stumble - by Bunx - 12-17-2014, 12:46 AM
RE: Stumble - by tectak - 12-17-2014, 05:25 PM
RE: Stumble - by Kutomba - 12-21-2014, 04:04 AM
RE: Stumble - by B888IE - 12-21-2014, 07:59 AM
RE: Stumble - by Bunx - 12-21-2014, 11:24 AM
RE: Stumble - by amiwrite - 12-28-2014, 12:54 PM
RE: Stumble - by somnium - 01-02-2015, 01:11 PM
RE: Stumble - by Bunx - 01-03-2015, 12:19 AM
RE: Black Sand Beach - by Bunx - 07-09-2024, 11:25 PM
RE: Black Sand Beach - by BurningSh#t - 07-14-2024, 04:14 AM
RE: Black Sand Beach - by crow - 07-16-2024, 08:40 PM
RE: Black Sand Beach - by Bunx - 08-16-2024, 11:55 PM
RE: Black Sand Beach - by carahmellow - 10-08-2024, 12:11 PM
RE: Black Sand Beach - by Bunx - 10-09-2024, 12:06 AM



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