In Defense of the Cold Ones

[Brownlie]

In Defense of the Cold Ones


Shameless, mindless appetites
feasting on sensual flesh
wet and hard the blood and bone
these animals lick and suck with longing.  

A stark contrast the Cold Ones are–
those who refuse the fruit of carnal knowledge
defying our loving Garden birth
denying our indelible double helixes.

This is our world without hunger:
there are no famines for those who never eat
tasting lips yields no flavor
delicious games produce no favors.



They sleep in self-inflicted starvation
fingering with only sweet, candied strokes
content with inner ecstasy
living without gluttony. 

Well, I can give you some simple advice, though I may not be the best to do it. Avoid the word "for" if you can. The meme tread on lightly seems to display that type of attempted poetic profundity.  Also, maybe add some more concreteness. If there is a moral that goes beyond facts perhaps it should be shown instead of told in violent abstraction. Creative diction seems to be appreciated though, if you can utilize it correctly. I've made worse.