Drifting Away

[PurpleFluff]

Hi all,

Here's a poem I just created that depicts how I've been feeling about life lately. It's definitely a melancholy piece, so apologies if anyone feels depressed after reading it. It encapsulates some things that have happened in my family over the past year, as well as my ongoing challenge of figuring out my calling in life. Anyway, please critique as you like. Thanks for reading:

Drifting

So many disparate pieces
Once a part of a beautiful puzzle (Puzzle peices may be a cliche topic)
Floating further and further away
Each in their own tormented orbits
Memories of a past that seems cruelly happy
Drifting further away
Objects in mirror are farther than they appear  This seems out of place, not connected to the meaning. I would cut this out
Nurturing new bonds is my medication
Without these, life would be meaningless (show dont tell)
And yet, the pain still lingers (But the pain still lingers , and yet seems confusing...im not sure but works either
The memories of warmth and joy
A familial bond seemingly untouchable (seems untouchable?)
Broken, shattered, flushed away
Never to return, never to breathe again (switch up never...maybe unable?
Drifting further away
Feelings of being trapped in chains
The weight is unforgiving Thier weight?
What once seemed so clear has rendered itself hazy
A blindness of the future, a distaste of the present Favorite two
Like a useless compass, whizzing around in circles lines however be more clear on who is experiencing blindness. in a sense its clear but i feel the above line could use some re- wording.
Never to land on one direction
Always searching for the true answer ( answer to what?)
A cosmic exploration of life's meanings, pains, and more I agree cut "and more"
Forever drifting, further and further away 

 Hello FutureProof
I appreciate you being willing to delve into and explore the less enjoyable emotions human beings experience as a well rounded part of life. I think there are a few things I wont mention because who needs to -pardon the cliche- beat a dead horse. Other members have done a great job at highlighting some grammar and repetition issues. I do agree the poem does get wordy at times , my novice notes are above . It's a bit over-exasperated if you will. In fact you could probobly cut this poem in half and be just as effective- if not more- than your current version. Also I find it may be valuable to mention you made a comment in reply to another user mentioning how a human beings life is in orbit and sometimes it takes a lot to knock them out of their habit. If you are looking to add more depth and imagery to this poem that could be a great route to take. All in all if you can do this in five minutes, with a little work and re-think you can write a beaut in no time.
Thanks for the read. Hope some of this helped.

- Halee