The Sick Gazelle

[just mercedes]

Her eyes were transfixed
on the drink I had just bought her;
swollen and red and separate
from the rest of the world.
 
She said her boyfriend had just moved to Italy
and that she had offered to go with him.
 
I told her she was pretty
and deserved better.

This works for me too. I like the confusion about just what was swollen and red. I'd haggle a bit about 'fixed' instead of 'transfixed', and the second 'just' - in fact you could cut a bit more - she said, and that, but you lose the chatty ambiance.