11-30-2014, 11:56 AM
I like the way you sort of left out the intention of the person buying her the drink. It's not about sex, or even sympathy, It's just an event that leaves much to the imagination of the reader, and yet, has a very conclusive way of making me feel satisfied with leaving it the way it is. I don't need to know what happens next, because it gives the impression that this sort of thing is happening everywhere, all of the time, in many different ways.
It's a bit of a mindfuck just how simple and perfect it is. I absolutely love it. The way you use "transfixed," as if she was terrified to see that someone else was buying her a drink, the way it makes her heartbreak all too real to her. Like, "this is it, he's gone, someone else is swooping in."
Just excellent. Thank you for sharing.
It's a bit of a mindfuck just how simple and perfect it is. I absolutely love it. The way you use "transfixed," as if she was terrified to see that someone else was buying her a drink, the way it makes her heartbreak all too real to her. Like, "this is it, he's gone, someone else is swooping in."
Just excellent. Thank you for sharing.