[split] cirrhosis (is the poem about the poet)

[ellajam]

Quite liked this - good/sad snapshot of the writer and some of his family.
As far as suggs:
I think you should remove the word "From" in: "from trying to become as yellow" - that way it's the cirrhosis that is trying to turn yellow - which gives it an evil personification of its own. Also seems like a lot of phrases at the end of the last sentence - to.. of.. in.. as.. I think you could end this with a short high-impact sentence to give it some finality - but may be just my personal preferences..
Good effort here! I love it when a writer does his/her work and thinks out every part.
Paul

Yes, it's a good/sad snapshot, but not necessarily of the writer and his/her family. We don't know what sparked the poet to write this, only whether or not we found it successful.