The Hungry General

[Brownlie]

I'll be honest, I haven't read much Kipling. However, the white man's burden was a little off-putting to me (though others like it). This is not bad though.

A poem I wrote some time ago in the style of Kipling's Barrack-Room Ballads and inspired by Sassoon's 'The General'. Again , any comments are welcomed

The Hungry General

'E readies us for battle
'E's made us fit an' lean
So we can raise the standard 'igh
For Country, God and Queen  -- Is there still a place where a queen has political power?

'E marches us to battle
'E says we're like 'is sons
But once the shells begin to fly
'E's nowhere near the guns

'E sends us into battle
'E's yet to 'ave 'is fill
So we must go on fighting 'til
We've paid 'is butcher's bill

I like the bit about the hungry figure and the way it ties in to a butcher's bill. It's something to consider focusing on more I suppose. You could also put in punctuation and change the caps.