Blue note #1

[GerryMattia]

I'm completely new to poetry. I'd like to learn and improve as much as possible so any criticism is very welcome. Also, if possible, I welcome recommendations for poetry to read that resembles this and where I can get acquainted with cliches and get tired of them in order not to use them. I've written this during the night that I could not sleep.

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Blue note #1

Like a box of matches,
all stricken, burnt to fingers
This is how it feels
after folly lingers.

No soft words are spoken
in the middle of the night
when left with own's demons
without a trace of light.

A dawn should arise
as many did
but reasons this time
seem so dim.

The frost bites the heart,
even own blood waives
and in every part
only scream remains.

Dear Poet: You asked for it and with all great respect -- you already have it. Very predictable is the 'spiral'. It goes either up or down. You did do here an 'up' toward a 'down'. What you already have, by way of my attention, is your line, "Like a box of matches,/all stricken, burnt to fingers..." How delicious. I can tell you that you wrote that line first. then you followed up with the rest of the 'spiral' downward - 'downward' does not mean bad. If you ended with that opening line, you would start to find your voice. :-)