In the Night

[azure]

*In The Night
I like the darkness
It falls over me
Like a warm cloud
Seemingly unaware of its mystery
It trespasses upon others,
But enlivens me.
The darkness refuses to speak,
But insists on enveloping me.
I kick, I scream, I laugh, I cry,
And am renewed by the night.

I like the darkness
For I am alone in my thoughts
And the night is my canvas
With endless possibilities.
Every night the stars may sparkle,
And the stars may fade,
The moon may shine
And the moon may wane
But the night remains,
A portal to the universe.

Of course I am biased and tend to enjoy poems about the Night...

First Stanza:

I like the darkness
It falls over me
Like a warm cloud
Seemingly unaware of its mystery
It trespasses upon others,
But enlivens me.
The darkness refuses to speak,
But insists on enveloping me.
I kick, I scream, I laugh, I cry,
And am renewed by the night.

The first line is too dull, I suggest trying to liven it up as simply, yet strikingly as possible. Think of ways to express your fondness of the night in a few engaging words.
Maybe replace the word 'trespasses' in L5. Just seems bland and redundant.
Again, in L8, replace the word enveloping.

Second Stanza:

I like the darkness
For I am alone in my thoughts
And the night is my canvas
With endless possibilities.
Every night the stars may sparkle,
And the stars may fade,
The moon may shine
And the moon may wane
But the night remains,
A portal to the universe.


The repetition of the intro line is sterile, and while the intention is good, it failed to execute.
Oh, and L6 is dull and states the obvious. Possibly come up with an entirely different line?
In the final line, I suggest replacing the word portal.

Overall, you could really go somewhere with this poem, just keep on refining my friend! Try to avoid cliche.