11-11-2014, 04:14 PM
I must admit that there is some genuinely some very interesting use of wording here. I like that. However something about it feels rather disingenuous and dissociated from the speaker. In that I mean that it is difficult to tell what you are or who you are talking about. Each paragraph is pretty interesting in its' own right, but to me they don't feel like they connect very well together and there's a certain mendacious truth to it all, where the feelings may be genuine but the words aren't. It creates a very awkward reading experience at least for me. Sorry I'm new here and this is only my second post and I fear I may not be putting forth the most professional critiques. Does this make sense?