Dear Love/Hate:

[StanleyZ]

Dear Love: 


I'll give it a year,
To redefine these words you hear,
Breathe verse amid the chorus,
Make this tarnish shine for us

You're spitting daggers,
Like last year, and every day thereafter.
How much do I need to bleed
To give you the life you need?

Light these embers,
With that burning temper,
Warm this soul of mine,
Freezing for some time.

Where did I go wrong?
It's been far too long
Since I said "I love you"
And I loved you.

Dear Love:
I beg "End me, please.",
It's what you owe.
It's what you sow, 
So reap,
And gift me release.

I'm asking you to hate me
So I can lose this fight in peace.

This poem is riddled with forced rhymes and cliches. To avoid the lure of forced rhyming meter is necessary, but meter must be a product of theme. The theme here is weak, because of the lack of meter and original content. Writing poetry is a lot like walking on a tight rope. On one side you have the history of literature, everything that has been done, and on the other you have the infinite possibility of what has not been done, as poets we trot that tight rope with the balancing mechanism of our own knowledge, creativity, and style. This is great as a brainstorm, but you need to dig deeper to be able to reach your audience in a way that wont make them roll their eyes. I have read A LOT of amateur poetry, and this form of writing is very common, but that doesn't mean there isn't potential in where you can take this piece. You do have potential, and if you really want to be a poet you need to take failure in stride. Simply fail better, that is all we can do.