a haiku

[cjchaffin]

Good one.

I might replace the "my" in order to keep the ego/human in the distance.
but that is just me.

hmm, hadn't thought about that! thanks!

The 'my' is in keeping with the spirit of haiku.
Haiku's basis is human observation/comparison/interaction of/to/with nature.
Of course a "my" is optional; but haiku (like any other form of art and
especially one based on language) is the product of a human observer.

Real egotism is the pretense that it isn't.

i'd also say the my is a major part of the line, other wise it creates a 2nd cut which the authour doesn't want; without the my he could be writing about any flowers and any trellis. here he.observing them on his trellis,

another em dash....


great haiku...

make up your own rules, I usually do....but in most haiku/senryu the line breaks become the punctuation.

thanks all. i'll keep the "my" for now.

melificent, don't you make fun of my em dash!!   i know haiku is generally punctuation free