Light

[shemthepenman]

Hello,
 
the first thing, this is extremely twee and cliché. but then again, what is wrong with twee and cliché? We are all pretty much emotionally lazy; that is, life imitates art, and one can only hear 'she is the light of my life' so many times before one actually starts to emotionally identify with this imagery. Hence, the poem, on a sentimental level, works. Although, why bother with this one? why not any number of other poems comparing a loved one to light? I would ask myself, what does my poem bring to the table? am I saying something new, different, exciting, or just rehashing the same old tired metaphors?

And when I saw your face - I used to love starting a poem with 'and', like a Fuck You to all my English teachers telling me 'never begin a sentence with 'and''... I still do it, I honestly think it is like some 'and' tourettes or something. The  trouble is, one has to ask, is it necessary? what is the and doing there? In this particular instance I think it only weakens an already overly sentimental poem.
It was like all my mind’s clouds - as with the and thing, 'it was like' doesn't really do much apart from make the reader lose confidence in the writer's conviction.
Were cast away
By your soul’s sunshine - I would remove 'soul's'. It just adds another element of cliché and sentimentality, which it certainly doesn't need. 
Like the dust had settled -this is a redeeming line. Gives us a glimpse of something more.
And in your being
I had found a new light - yep, this is all much of a muchness. It lacks punch, but then the rest of the poem isn't a kick in the nuts, either. Yet, a lot of damage can be repaired with last lines, so maybe think about giving the conclusion a little more bite.