In Love with The Coffeeshop Girl

[noname]

I think removing the parenthesis made this poem so much better and allows the reader to think the things that you were forcing on them before.

I was thinking maybe you could say:
I sit by the window behind a notebook and thick frames.
Another notebook with thick frames sits at the counter,
more thick frames with laptops sit at the tables

I felt like it needed a "the" before tables like you had before counters, or maybe try:

I sit by the window behind a notebook and thick frames.
Other notebooks with thick frames sit at counters,
more thick frames with laptops sit at tables

I just think having those match makes it easier to read