11-08-2014, 08:19 AM
(11-08-2014, 07:09 AM)donbouquet Wrote: a haiku attempt:Interesting idea.. can be made more compact. no need to have "single",
cracked cement
a single wildflower
parts the traffic
cracked cement (what about making this only "a cranny" ?)
a wildflower
parts the traffic
What disturbs me is the shift from not nature to nature and than back. I am not sure, but I think there should be only one in haiku. But I might perceive this wrongly. Let the bearded decide.
Thistles.

