Final edit i think:

in cracked cement
a wildflower-
traffic parts



a haiku attempt:
     cracked cement
    a single wildflower
     parts the traffic

(11-08-2014, 07:09 AM)donbouquet Wrote:    a haiku attempt:


     cracked cement
    a single wildflower
     parts the traffic

Interesting idea.. can be made more compact. no need to have "single",

cracked cement (what about making this only "a cranny" ?)
a wildflower
parts the traffic

What disturbs me is the shift from not nature to nature and than back. I am not sure, but I think there should be only one in haiku. But I might perceive this wrongly. Let the bearded decide.

(11-08-2014, 07:09 AM)donbouquet Wrote:    a haiku attempt:
     cracked cement
    a single wildflower
     parts the traffic

You have the glimpse of a time and place - and an 'aha' moment - even a kigo in there I guess, flowers usually standing for spring. I like the way the focus moves from close-up - the crack, to medium distance - the flower - to wide angle - the traffic

everyone thanks for the input!
I was driving home and saw in the concrete median a wildflower growing in a crack in the cement; it was about a foot tall and was the only one in the area. it looked like the traffic was avoiding it.
The elimination of the word "single" was on the money. Thanks, maybe " a purple wildflower" since it was a reddish-blue color

a suggestion would be [traffic parts] as it's normal not to use run on sentences in the haiku
you culd also lose [a single]  i like the concept and intent of the poem well done.

(11-08-2014, 07:09 AM)donbouquet Wrote:    a haiku attempt:


     cracked cement
    a single wildflower
     parts the traffic

yes,def. traffic parts

Revised:

cracked cement
a purple wildflower
traffic parts

Thanks to everyone for their help!

No em dash in final draft. There is no punctuation in haiku. Otherwise this is great.