Tryst

[coolfunboy]

I really enjoy the general theme of dirtiness and decay running throughout this poem, especially in the last 3 lines. I think it concludes exactly how it should (I love the last line) but I feel like you could embellish the rest of the poem a little bit. Perhaps a couple lines that further the atmosphere you create, after the second line? Overall though, I really enjoy it!

The slag adjusted her bodice in front of the mirror
at his holiday home in the country side;
raindrops swelled and rolled
down the mud wall. A clump of wildflowers
wilted, and left behind a muddied remainder
of the monsoon and his warm breath.