11-02-2014, 05:18 AM
Though I don't follow the whole story, I get enough and the language and rhythm of the first two verses carry me along. This section in the final verse reads a bit clumsy, beguiled awakened being the worst part.
Pasture, black to green, beguiled
awakened. Weeds seed madly,
toxins spreading, stop the breath
of creased, decreased and cowed.
Wonder how I ended up
in me. Remember years of sup- - this always seems like cheating to me!
plication, settling in, like
layers in an unwashed mug - ended up in, settling in, like layers in - that's a lot of ins
But I do love the first verse, especially the last few lines
Pasture, black to green, beguiled
awakened. Weeds seed madly,
toxins spreading, stop the breath
of creased, decreased and cowed.
Wonder how I ended up
in me. Remember years of sup- - this always seems like cheating to me!
plication, settling in, like
layers in an unwashed mug - ended up in, settling in, like layers in - that's a lot of ins
But I do love the first verse, especially the last few lines
Before criticising a person try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise that person, you are a mile away.... and you have their shoes.