10-20-2014, 01:14 AM
Hello RSaba. The poem seems to take an awful long time to get to this
I describe my body slowly, from head to toe
which is where I thought it took off/got interesting. My opinion is that what went before should be truncated, at least. This section below is nicely done, though I think parts would be better than fractions. Nobody refers to jigsaw fractions.
until pieces begin to disappear
behind the furniture, and frustration appears in the spaces
left by those small fractions of me that meant nothing much
until they were gone.
Can someone be the straight edges, the corners and the last piece as well? Perhaps. I'd have been satisfied with just the former.
I'm not so keen on the closing 2 lines. They seem vague when they could have been specific and continue the puzzle theme.
Title - It Takes Me Hours
I describe my body slowly, from head to toe
which is where I thought it took off/got interesting. My opinion is that what went before should be truncated, at least. This section below is nicely done, though I think parts would be better than fractions. Nobody refers to jigsaw fractions.
until pieces begin to disappear
behind the furniture, and frustration appears in the spaces
left by those small fractions of me that meant nothing much
until they were gone.
Can someone be the straight edges, the corners and the last piece as well? Perhaps. I'd have been satisfied with just the former.
I'm not so keen on the closing 2 lines. They seem vague when they could have been specific and continue the puzzle theme.
Title - It Takes Me Hours
Before criticising a person try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise that person, you are a mile away.... and you have their shoes.