Last Night's News

[tectak]

Last night I watched the news but found it hard to stay awake.
I used to get depressed...no...I suppose you were right,
I got angry then, or so you said. I thought that...
I can't remember what I thought but these days I just fall asleep.
I wish I still got angry, but without you to notice I don't see the point.
I don't see the point. Yes. I guess it has come to that.
It feels kind of liberating to say it. I don't see the point.
All those years we planned our lives, plan A and B.
You go first or I go first. Plan C we thought about but
the chances of simultaneous death...God, how long we took
to say the D-word...well, it just wouldn't happen.
And it didn't. Wouldn't have mattered anyway.
So last night I turned off the tv and the heating.
I opened the window and watched the moon dodging the night.
I'm pretty determined, you know, to write this. It is time.
The news will say it was a cold night, no frost but a blustery old gale
whistling in from Siberia.Siberia always got the blame. Hypothermia.
I still enjoyed my scotch before bed. Habit. I even asked you if,
if...silly really. I know it. It's just that last night
I thought I heard you say,
" Yes, I'll have a small Cointreau"...

tectak2014
still here

[ray]

Last night I watched the news but found it hard to stay awake.
I used to get depressed...no...I suppose you were right,
I got angry then, or so you said. I thought that...
I can't remember what I thought but these days I just fall asleep.
I wish I still got angry, but without you to notice I don't see the point.      - what's the point? would be better, more succinct, avoids too much repetition
I don't see the point. Yes. I guess it has come to that.
It feels kind of liberating to say it. I don't see the point.
All those years we planned our lives, plan A and B.
You go first or I go first. Plan C we thought about but
the chances of simultaneous death...God, how long we took    - I think it would be better not to say the D-word, so but the chances of both ... at the same time...
to say the D-word...well, it just wouldn't happen.
And it didn't. Wouldn't have mattered anyway.
So last night I turned off the tv and the heating.
I opened the window and watched the moon dodging the night.
I'm pretty determined, you know, to write this. It is time.
The news will say it was a cold night, no frost but a blustery old gale
whistling in from Siberia.Siberia always got the blame. Hypothermia. 
I still enjoyed my scotch before bed. Habit. I even asked you if,
if...silly really. I know it. It's just that last night
I thought I heard you say,
" Yes, I'll have a small Cointreau"...          -
tectak2014
still here

 I'm not sure about the ending. Took me a while to get the implication, now I wonder who's alive, who's dead etc. What the perspective is.
How about It's just that sometimes you enjoy a small Cointreau

[tectak]

Last night I watched the news but found it hard to stay awake.
I used to get depressed...no...I suppose you were right,
I got angry then, or so you said. I thought that...
I can't remember what I thought but these days I just fall asleep.
I wish I still got angry, but without you to notice I don't see the point.      - what's the point? would be better, more succinct, avoids too much repetition
I don't see the point. Yes. I guess it has come to that.
It feels kind of liberating to say it. I don't see the point.
All those years we planned our lives, plan A and B.
You go first or I go first. Plan C we thought about but
the chances of simultaneous death...God, how long we took    - I think it would be better not to say the D-word, so but the chances of both ... at the same time...
to say the D-word...well, it just wouldn't happen.
And it didn't. Wouldn't have mattered anyway.
So last night I turned off the tv and the heating.
I opened the window and watched the moon dodging the night.
I'm pretty determined, you know, to write this. It is time.
The news will say it was a cold night, no frost but a blustery old gale
whistling in from Siberia.Siberia always got the blame. Hypothermia. 
I still enjoyed my scotch before bed. Habit. I even asked you if,
if...silly really. I know it. It's just that last night
I thought I heard you say,
" Yes, I'll have a small Cointreau"...          -
tectak2014
still here

 I'm not sure about the ending. Took me a while to get the implication, now I wonder who's alive, who's dead etc. What the perspective is.
How about It's just that sometimes you enjoy a small Cointreau

Both dead.
tectak
( cannot avoid the d-word)
Thanks ray....thy will be done...ish.

[billy]

in places it feels a bit wordy (near the top quarter) but the end where the person who was left behind (the wife could like an odd scotch and the guy a contwhatever it  was) took their own life was quite powerful. the pay off in the poem was excellent, the journey to it needs (just) a little bit of work

Last night I watched the news but found it hard to stay awake. a suggestion would be [news, it was hard to stay awake]
I used to get depressed...no...I suppose you were right,
I got angry then, or so you said. I thought that...
I can't remember what I thought but these days I just fall asleep.
I wish I still got angry, but without you to notice I don't see the point.
I don't see the point. Yes. I guess it has come to that. could the [i don't see the point] be rephrased in order to remove the repetition?
It feels kind of liberating to say it. I don't see the point. this one feels okay as it's a statement about the first one mentioned.
All those years we planned our lives, plan A and B.
You go first or I go first. Plan C we thought about but
the chances of simultaneous death...God, how long we took i like this line, i'm sure many have had similar thoughts/ talks it has a sort of down to earth and sensible feel about it
to say the D-word...well, it just wouldn't happen.
And it didn't. Wouldn't have mattered anyway.
So last night I turned off the tv and the heating.
I opened the window and watched the moon dodging the night. lovely line, lovely image
I'm pretty determined, you know, to write this. It is time.
The news will say it was a cold night, no frost but a blustery old gale
whistling in from Siberia.Siberia always got the blame. Hypothermia.
I still enjoyed my scotch before bed. Habit. I even asked you if,
if...silly really. I know it. It's just that last night
I thought I heard you say,
" Yes, I'll have a small Cointreau"...

tectak2014
still here

[ellajam]

I find this successful even though I can just barely accept it. Hypothermia seems an odd choice, but I'll give you that people are odd. Maybe the scotch helped avoid the pain, and maybe it was cold enough to be quick enough. I'd like to say the poem didn't need to state hypothermia but it took me time to get it even when clearly stated. If the he/she choices are wrong in my comments, I'm getting them from scotch/cointreau, which may not be accurate.

Last night I watched the news but found it hard to stay awake.
I used to get depressed...no...I suppose you were right,
I got angry then, or so you said. I thought that... If he's now seeing it her way, why "or so you said"?
I can't remember what I thought but these days I just fall asleep.
I wish I still got angry, but without you to notice I don't see the point. Love this line for its reality.
I don't see the point. Yes. I guess it has come to that.
It feels kind of liberating to say it. I don't see the point. I like all the repetition, it takes that to come to the conclusion.
All those years we planned our lives, plan A and B.
You go first or I go first. Plan C we thought about but I might prefer "we considered," I don't think you need the but.
the chances of simultaneous death...God, how long we took
to say the D-word...well, it just wouldn't happen.
And it didn't. Wouldn't have mattered anyway. It didn't? Where is she?
So last night I turned off the tv and the heating.
I opened the window and watched the moon dodging the night.These two lines hit hard, well done.
I'm pretty determined, you know, to write this. It is time.
The news will say it was a cold night, no frost but a blustery old gale
whistling in from Siberia.Siberia always got the blame. Hypothermia. I don't see what you gain with the tense switch of "got", I'd prefer "gets".
I still enjoyed my scotch before bed. Habit. I even asked you if,
if...silly really. I know it. It's just that last night
I thought I heard you say,
" Yes, I'll have a small Cointreau"... Love the end, and think I hear her too.

tectak2014
still here

[brandontoh]

It is rather wordy at some parts, which at first felt deliberate. Upon further reading, however, I find that this actually makes the narrator's personality feel a little inconsistent. This may be due to cultural differences, because some of the lines do not read like colloquial English to me, and that takes me out of the stream of thought. Overall it is actually a very effective poem that leaves an impact, and a few discerning edits will make it more powerful.


Last night I watched the news but found it hard to stay awake. -- A suggestion: Last night the news made it hard to stay awake.

I used to get depressed...no...I suppose you were right,

I got angry then, or so you said. I thought that... -- These stream-of-consciousness lines communicate the mental and emotional state of the narrator effectively. Personally I would remove 'that'.

I can't remember what I thought but these days I just fall asleep. -- Why 'but'? Also, another suggestion: I can't remember, and just fall asleep these days.

I wish I still got angry, but without you to notice I don't see the point.

I don't see the point. Yes. I guess it has come to that.

It feels kind of liberating to say it. I don't see the point. -- The repetition works really well here. Although you can think about using 'pointless' instead. 

All those years we planned our lives, plan A and B.

You go first or I go first. Plan C we thought about but -- 'You go first or I go first' reads a little awkwardly for me. Maybe 'Me first, or you first.'

the chances of simultaneous death...God, how long we took

to say the D-word...well, it just wouldn't happen. --'well, there was just no way.'

And it didn't. Wouldn't have mattered anyway. -- Just for consistency sake, 'No way at all.'

So last night I turned off the tv and the heating.

I opened the window and watched the moon dodging the night.

I'm pretty determined, you know, to write this. It is time.

The news will say it was a cold night, no frost but a blustery old gale

whistling in from Siberia.Siberia always got the blame. Hypothermia.

I still enjoyed my scotch before bed. Habit. I even asked you if,

if...silly really. I know it. It's just that last night

I thought I heard you say,

" Yes, I'll have a small Cointreau"... -- Really beautiful ending. Especially the last 4 lines. 

[vagabond]

Last night I watched the news but found it hard to stay awake.
I used to get depressed...no...I suppose you were right,                 
I got angry then, or so you said. I thought that...
I can't remember what I thought but these days I just fall asleep.
I wish I still got angry, but without you to notice I don't see the point.
I don't see the point. Yes. I guess it has come to that.
It feels kind of liberating to say it. I don't see the point.
All those years we planned our lives, plan A and B.
You go first or I go first. Plan C we thought about but
the chances of simultaneous death...God, how long we took
to say the D-word...well, it just wouldn't happen.
And it didn't. Wouldn't have mattered anyway.
So last night I turned off the tv and the heating.  
I opened the window and watched the moon dodging the night.
I'm pretty determined, you know, to write this. It is time.                              love the double meaning
The news will say it was a cold night, no frost but a blustery old gale
whistling in from Siberia.Siberia always got the blame. Hypothermia.                   as stated before, I also am not sure if the word "hypothermia" is needed. It´s like an explanation to what the subject´s aiming at when it´s already becoming obvious
I still enjoyed my scotch before bed. Habit. I even asked you if,
if...silly really. I know it. It's just that last night
I thought I heard you say,
" Yes, I'll have a small Cointreau"...         excellent ending, made me read the poem again.  invitation from the hereafter to have a drink on a cold night.
tectak2014
still here

 i felt like inside the widower´s mind reading your poem.