Tryst

[Todd]

Hi Tamara,

Some comments for you on your most recent version:

L1 is a bit weak. It's just making a statement. I also am not a fan of the title--not enough to draw us in. Maybe The Slag's Tryst or go Canterbury Tales on us--The Slag's Tale

I also don't know about the omnipresent speaker. Perhaps shift to the woman's perspective. Would she then self identify as a slag? That's why moving the term to the title may help as the reader is aware of something the speaker may not see. Does that make sense?

The slag adjusted her bodice in front of the mirror--so slag could become she. I'd still like something more figurative here to make the line more interesting.
at his cottage in the country side.
Raindrops swelled and rolled--is there one word that can replace swelled and rolled?
down the mud wall. A clump of wildflowers
wilted, and left behind a muddied remainder--I like the implied connection with the wilted flowers. Mud and muddied probably needs more variety.
of the monsoon
and his warm breath.--I like this. I'd be tempted to blend the construction a bit. Maybe, "from the monsoon of his warm breath"

Just thoughts. I hope some of this will be helpful.

Best,

Todd