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[rayheinrich]

Ray-dee-Oh,

Nice love poem. Maybe some ellipses before the "and" on L1.

This is an odd little line, is it a typo, or did you mean to do that.

"you say me with your mouth      
and mine with yours"

It's a fun twist. I'd leave it.

dale

Though I hate having more than zero ellipses in a poem,
I rose above my principles and included one.  And now, just for you,
I've committed this sin twice. Next you're going to ask me to capitalize
the beginnings and endings of each line.

And yes, totally intentional. "I am consumed by your love." "I am yours." etc.
The full passion of love induces a dissociative state where transformations
from symbolic to real are particularly easy. Sexual organs are often used as
metaphors for the whole. And there's the usual bit of double entendre going
on as well.