lanterne poem
#3
hey dale,

thanks for chiming in. you're right about the third strophe, it's weak. i need to punch it up a bit.

i guess i should clarify what "them" is in the second strophe as well.

i wonder if it would read better connected in a chain instead of broken? hmm. i dunno. at any rate, i'll try to make it stronger.

thank you!
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Messages In This Thread
lanterne poem - by cjchaffin - 09-28-2014, 05:08 AM
RE: lanterne poem - by Erthona - 09-28-2014, 09:21 AM
RE: lanterne poem - by cjchaffin - 09-28-2014, 10:47 AM
RE: lanterne poem - by Tamara - 09-28-2014, 12:23 PM
RE: lanterne poem - by Mwaba don - 09-29-2014, 05:41 AM
RE: lanterne poem - by Erthona - 09-29-2014, 07:34 PM
RE: lanterne poem - by cjchaffin - 09-30-2014, 12:59 AM



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