Palaver

[ellajam]

Hi, tamara, . This is a full moment, worth isolating and you did it well. Here are a few thoughts.

I was sitting in this quaint tea stall, I don't think "quaint" does much here, you could lose or replace it.
tinned roof noisy in the January breeze— Great line, brought me right there.
a few wooden benches, kettle boiling
in the corner with the brew
and the rising flavor of ginger. I enjoyed the breaks on these three lines.
The tea boy comes
with tea in an old glass, I think you could cut "tea in", and do better than "old", is it scuffed? chipped?
a layer of froth on the top. Again, brings me right there.
I sip watching the Mexican Lilac tree, Watching sounds off, maybe comma watch or something better.
its branches spread out like the legs of the spider. Such a clear image.
A group of Japanese tourists come in. Possibly comma or semicolon.
One sits next to me and looks at the ground
carpeted with pink petals. He looks at me Possibly looks down at the carpet of.
starts a conversation and we talk about
Japan and cherry blossoms I like the missing period here.

I very much enjoyed this, I think a little nip and tuck would really polish it up. Well done, thanks for posting it.