Mommy Had a Vice (poem)

[just mercedes]

Hi Stanley, and welcome! Your poem has a lot of impact - the sonic adventures are fun, and the surreal images are doing their work at the same time. The protagonist seems to be street-wise; a sort of cinema noir tough guy tone to it that I like. I can't help thinking that your last line let the poem down a little though - it seems to trail off in wordiness and a forced rhyme.

That said, I enjoyed reading your poem - unexpected, and refreshing. I'm always happy to see poets taking chances, playing with words, enjoying their work. Makes the reader feel the same.