Abandoned Animism

[rayheinrich]

Good poem!

Abandoned Animism
- This title is too literal, like it's trying to explain the poem.
Explication is the poem's job, not the title's. The narrative of
your poem as it builds to its concept(s) is its wonder.
Maybe you could use some term taken from one of our current
religions like 'processional' or 'recessional'

Myriads of sprites suck life
from the underbellies of moist deadfall
like farrows crowded beneath
pink mother mounds.

The wind hears the pulse of wooden giants,
and passes the message a long
to leaves, and clouds, and glass
that peers past facades into the corners
of young children's rooms.

Soon teachers will whisper
the hearts out of dirt,
and grass, and children
will forget the wind's words.
I agree with Todd, the above four lines are sublime

A coon succumbs to duality,
'Coon' as an abbreviation for Racoon has so many pejorative
meanings attached to it that it's a distraction. You should
chose some other single-syllable animal name instead.
Maybe 'crow'
While I appreciate "succumbs to duality" , I think something
simpler might be used... well, maybe not, it's pleases me
no end to see it used.

but on the way up
his soul gets snagged on a plastic bag,
and his body sinks in to a sun
bleached beer can some one didn't think to throw away.
And this last stanza!!