09-21-2014, 10:12 PM
(09-21-2014, 03:04 PM)Tamara Wrote:Why the fear of expression? because sometimes in an audience where you have a dancer on stage one tends to hold back emotions on how they feel, like clapping or screaming for example. Attractively restless, because your sense of attraction increases for the dancer than what you control your self to. That is beyond self control.(09-20-2014, 10:00 PM)Mwaba don Wrote: She moves fluidly on a circular stage.
Her style flawless,
she becomes the sparkle as the audience fades.
Slowly I become attractively restless
as my fear of expression wanes.
I have to hold on to this moment of moving beauty.
I cannot afford to darkle,
So I hold my breath to soundly watch the beautiful dancer.
She is so beautiful and feminine
yet I seem to capture the masculine execution of her dance,
she is a Perfect Muse, expressing her poetry in Dance
You have captured the moment beautifully and it's very visual. Some good images here.
I did not get what you meant by 'attractively restless'. and why was there a fear of expression? nothing in the poem supports that (except I cannot afford to darkle) which makes those two lines ambiguous. I personally wouldn't use upper case for perfect muse of dance. it might be better off as italics. You can trim down a few redundant words and lines to make it more effective.

