Flight

[ellajam]

in their spectre-gray grave linens

while you are thinking about this line, consider losing "in their" with possessive clouds.

come to think of it cutting the line may be an option worth considering - you might be able to work the linens in another way, maybe the static bit somehow. Do these clouds have dryer sheets?

Yah, you may be right, not sure if that line is pulling its weight at all. I hate to lose "grave linens" but there may be no way around it.

I think you need it, it weights what is above and below it. Think harder.