09-09-2014, 12:03 AM
milo I may try and come come back with adequate crit.
I just wanted to say I love the night shirt, and have no problems with the second person address, it makes me feel that I understand the poem and it is speaking to me, but then I read poems very slowly so switch wasn't very jarring.
though I disagree with some of the reasoning behind it, I agree that the article to start s2 should probably go. I see no need for it.
Something about it is compelling: the battle in the subtext between rational and irrational I suppose, and the way it lets the reader decide whether or not there's anything to stop us from taking the dive.
Thanks for the poem.
I should add that I found some of the referant argumentsa bit overt for my taste, but then they are things that I like to think about when reading poems, so I don't know if that's really a bad thing, and others might find it more subtle. forgive my poor articulation here.
meh thinking about it, omitting the article in s2 might be overly expansive. come to think of it btw, wouldn't summer clouds be better than clouds of summer?
I just wanted to say I love the night shirt, and have no problems with the second person address, it makes me feel that I understand the poem and it is speaking to me, but then I read poems very slowly so switch wasn't very jarring.
though I disagree with some of the reasoning behind it, I agree that the article to start s2 should probably go. I see no need for it.
Something about it is compelling: the battle in the subtext between rational and irrational I suppose, and the way it lets the reader decide whether or not there's anything to stop us from taking the dive.
Thanks for the poem.
I should add that I found some of the referant argumentsa bit overt for my taste, but then they are things that I like to think about when reading poems, so I don't know if that's really a bad thing, and others might find it more subtle. forgive my poor articulation here.
meh thinking about it, omitting the article in s2 might be overly expansive. come to think of it btw, wouldn't summer clouds be better than clouds of summer?