Abandoned Animism

[billy]

once i got past the first stanza the poem came to life with it's depiction of death i think you could do a lot better with the first stanza if you take the route of the rest the poem. for some reason the first seems to be trying to hard to be poetical. all in all a good read. i did see todd's suggestion of losing the first stanza and while i agree that it wouldn't harm the poem i would like to see it replaced so the poem has more depth and continuity.

Myriads of sprites suck life Myriads of sprites doesn't feel right. use a word like armies or hoards, something that generates a bit of gnoshing and gnashing. not sure life is needed either
from the underbellies of moist deadfall
like farrows crowded beneath 
pink mother mounds.

The wind hears the pulse of wooden giants, this line is excellent. it reminds me of the trees in LOTR
and passes the message a long along
to leaves, and clouds, and glass
that peers past facades into the corners is [the needed?]
of young children's rooms.
Soon teachers will whisper
the hearts out of dirt, excellent. it shows we often lose something of nature as we get older and more educated.
and grass, and children
will forget the wind's words.

A coon succumbs to duality,
but on the way up
his soul gets snagged on a plastic bag, i can't help but see a connection between coon and soul and it's not the connection you intended. is coon short for racoon? if so it would cut away my ambiguity and racist thoughts. though it is a good finishing stanza. the plastic bag/ beer can work well in showing us that these things shouldn't happen and that the environment/nature is important
and his body sinks in to a sun
bleached beer can some one didn't think to throw away.