Mama 'Ku

[Keith]

crowded bus
pregnant
preoccupied
she gives up her seat

You have a lot in here that gives the reader clear images without forcing the detail. As a reader I chose to think the person pregnant gave up her seat and then I wondered why she was preoccupied. Again as a reader I chose to think it was because she was pregnant and it was a problem. Just great, a soap opera in four lines. Best Keith