Of The Untitled
#2
(08-26-2014, 12:09 PM)Qdeathstar Wrote:  I
tried to forget everything
I ever heard.
Each word.

Suddenly
I heard a strange murmur
rattling around within,
without constraint.

The growl
terrified me momentarily-
The sudden lack of
something familiar.

Quickly
carefully constructed - maybe a word other than "constructed" to describe "blueprints"? It seems a bit out of place, seeing as thing are constructed based off of blue prints, but I've never heard someone refer to 'constructing some blueprints'.
blueprints of life became
imperfect recitals of thought left untitled.
I'm not quite sure what this poem is getting at. I think if you clarified what exactly you mean by "imperfect recitals of thought" it could be helpful, because the rest of the poem is straightforward enough. And are these recital of thought usually titled somehow? Also, the apparently random rhyme scheme seems to go well with the theme you have going around being terrified by the unfamiliar, so nice work thereSmile
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Messages In This Thread
Of The Untitled - by QDeathstar - 08-26-2014, 12:09 PM
RE: Of The Untitled - by alatos - 08-27-2014, 05:56 AM
RE: Of The Untitled - by QDeathstar - 08-27-2014, 10:18 AM
RE: Of The Untitled - by Tiger the Lion - 08-27-2014, 07:35 AM
RE: Of The Untitled - by ellajam - 08-30-2014, 03:46 AM
RE: Of The Untitled - by QDeathstar - 08-30-2014, 05:22 AM
RE: Of The Untitled - by ellajam - 08-30-2014, 05:37 AM
RE: Of The Untitled - by milo - 08-30-2014, 06:25 AM
RE: Of The Untitled - by QDeathstar - 08-30-2014, 06:55 AM
RE: Of The Untitled - by scoff - 08-30-2014, 11:24 AM
RE: Of The Untitled - by PHTj - 08-30-2014, 02:17 PM



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