To the Dancer

[UberWilhelm]

Because your body hasn’t felt right in months,
you lie on a table and flinch the needles poke your skin. <-- I think you're missing an "as" here.

Remembering,
how the fern towards the radio, <--- same here. Missing "turns" or "bends" or "grows"
dresses in the summer,
a car parked at the roadside,
and someone listening to someone breathing. To me this whole stanza seems kind of broken or disjointed. Like random thoughts thrown together.

*
I follow you into the house,
where you unsnap your dress
and stand at the dresser
as a drop of light spills out from a black cloud. <-- If I am interpreting this correctly, I think something more like " like a drop of light spilling from a black cloud" might flow better.

I will tell you not to move.
I will teach you about stillness.

I remember strolling at dusk
through southwest London,
staring into the faces of the whores, <-- I am by far no punctuation expert but I don't think a comma is needed here.
who sat in doorways smoking. <--- if you want to continue this thought, the comma goes here I believe.
when I bumped into a woman,
who would not understand this poem
even if I read it to her.

She ran her hands over my hips,
and dreamt of being reborn
a blackberry bush
who pricked the hands
of those who touched her. <--- Nice. I like this stanza

*

I was young when I left home.
I thought that I had plenty of time.
So I sat with my feet in the Atlantic Ocean, looking east.

You wore black that winter.
You could have been anyone.
You could have been snow falling through the arms of a tree.
You could be everything I have.

Hi bwasroy.

Overall I liked the poem. I found it very melodic and full of emotion. I haven't read the other posts so I apologize if I repeat some of their comments. Of course I am by no stretch of the imagination an expert but I do offer up my opinion.