To the Dancer

[cjchaffin]

Because your body hasn’t felt right in months, awkward opening, maybe reverse the sentence structure so you're not starting out with "because"
you lie on a table and flinch the needles poke your skin.

Remembering,
how the fern towards the radio,
dresses in the summer,
a car parked at the roadside,
and someone listening to someone breathing.

*
I follow you into the house,
where you unsnap your dress
and stand at the dresser
as a drop of light spills out from a black cloud. beautiful

I will tell you not to move.
I will teach you about stillness.

I remember strolling at dusk
through southwest London,
staring into the faces of the whores,
who sat in doorways smoking.
when I bumped into a woman, i don't think you need these last 3 lines, they don't really add anything to wonderful imagery of the preceeding...
who would not understand this poem
even if I read it to her.

She ran her hands over my hips,
and dreamt of being reborn
a blackberry bush another great image
who pricked the hands
of those who touched her.

some awkward tense shifts in the above section
*

I was young when I left home.
I thought that I had plenty of time.
So I sat with my feet in the Atlantic Ocean, looking east.

You wore black that winter.
You could have been anyone.
You could have been snow falling through the arms of a tree. outstanding!
You could be everything I have. i don't think you need this line, leave it to end at the line before as it's much more powerful

hi bwasroy. i really enjoyed some of the imagery in your poem. i've made some notes in the quoted section above, just some suggestions to use or lose.