08-20-2014, 10:26 AM
I cant really point to any one part of the poem that needs work or has an error, stanza by stanza it is a good read, and i like a lot of the sounds coming from the poem; "effuse a rosy flush, but their enthralling stomp" being my favorite set of lines.
I just find the poem a bit wordy, superb autumn crush, for example, is strange to me.
Lastly, when i think "women (maidens are women) making whine", i think old women with big crusty feet stomping juice from grapes left inside large wooden barrels... not milfs (maidens, in this case)
I just find the poem a bit wordy, superb autumn crush, for example, is strange to me.
Lastly, when i think "women (maidens are women) making whine", i think old women with big crusty feet stomping juice from grapes left inside large wooden barrels... not milfs (maidens, in this case)