ashes

[ajcohen613]

I rise from the ashes
as every word you say at me clashes.

My wrath is dying away in a way
every time you say 'I love you'
I can't get enough of you

I can't get enough of feeling your skin
as light as a feather in the wind
yet scorches me as a fiery coal I'm holding
when the fear of losing you is growing

I shall hold this coal until my hand is only bones
and then I'll hold it longer
because this pain doesn't hurt

to my ashes I return
without wrath, hatred or any mourn
I return peaceful minded
because me you have reminded
of old time romantics and love
and now,
now I'm free as a dove

The other critiques did a good job, but I will say that some punctuation might help with some of the clunkiness. Also, a lot of the rhymes are quick/cheap and in my opinion, not worth it; lines like "My wrath is dying away in a way" just don't benefit from such a forced rhyme. I do like how the beginning of the poem draws upon some images of a phoenix and then it ends with the image of a dove, which may or not have been intentional. Just keep at it.