If I Awake to Flames After I Die

[KerouacJack]

I could especially use help with punctuation!

If I awake to flames after I die
to make eternal payment for my sin,
I will not raise my voice to question why
remembering the man that I had been.
But cast into oblivion, if He,
the Perfect Judge, should look my way with grace
and offer lovingly to pardon me
if only I would run again life’s race
more faithfully, without conceited pride,
the greed-filled lies, the lust, this time to live:
my passions and my past to set aside…
I know one thing alone I'd never give.
Those moments spent with you I would not sell
to save my soul eternity in hell.

Thui is a beautiful sonnet. Like most have said the large body of text needs to be broken into stanzas purely for aesthetic reasons. Secondly I enjoyed how the discourse progressively builds a more passionate semantic field. "My passions" "I'd never give up" "eternity in hell". It all makes for an excellent read! My final piece of constructive criticism would be to read your poem over and of ever a line sounds like it needs re arranging, then spend time finding the words that fit. Sometimes even just matching the syllables would do the job. Well done!