08-13-2014, 06:12 AM
Honestly. This wasn't bad for a novice section piece.. I expected something much worse.. You've got the right idea as far as rhyme schemes and rhythms go.. this flowed well off the toungue for me.. nothing major as far as hiccups and I like the juxtaposition of the beginning to the end.. I really do quite enjoy this piece and I might save it in my huge list of poems I enjoy as a word document. it really is quite a nice piece and you have a decent flow to it.
My main complaint would be maybe a bit more imagery.. I like having a picture in my head of what's going on when I read something.. but that's just a person tidbit you had some decent imagery.. it was just a tad cliché.. nothing major tho.
My main complaint would be maybe a bit more imagery.. I like having a picture in my head of what's going on when I read something.. but that's just a person tidbit you had some decent imagery.. it was just a tad cliché.. nothing major tho.