Slowly

[ChristopherSea]

Crow, You could draw out 'slowly' better. Perhaps, either:

slow-
ly

-or-

s
l
o
w
l
y

-or-


Slow--


ly

I am not sure.

I believe the list of adjectives, 'wormy thread, sky lost, looming heavenly, cursed, dreadful' in the closing of your first stanza are a bit much. Maybe...

'scratching loose a wormy thread,
sky lost and looming.'

...would fare better, emphasizing both mood and the alliteration.

I was a bit befuddled by the 'was, was, was here' line in stanza two. See what you think.

That's all for now./Chris