Elevator Music

[phacade]

The doors kissed to mark the start - a great way to start this piece.
of another trip to the ground floor. - not sure how I feel about starting the second line with "of"
Soft jazz battles with the burlap silence - great.
of a man and woman alone together. - again with "of" at the start
Thoughts stay home to hum, tap, and sigh - I like it
at the sight of another missed opportunity. - I like the sentiment, but maybe reword this last line.

[J.M.Byrnes]

This works for me. I'm going to throw something out there -- how about "carpeted" silence? It might work in the same way from a tactile standpoint, but may also suggest something suppressed or covered over.

at the sight of another missed opportunity.

I think the problem here is "sight." It's really more about a recognition or realization, I think -- although those would be too clunky. I guess the line would be too short, but you could almost just say "another missed opportunity."

Nice work.

[Wjames]

Thanks for reading and commenting guys, I've got lots of thinking to do on this one.