After RVW

[just mercedes]

After RVW

I won’t catch up with you, your white
Opulent decadence, swirling between
sequined skirts of a modern Asian angel –
and cheating Indian waiters with cheap
glasses of souring white wine. I might even
rock my shoulders to the diaphragm
of your poetry, and balance on the edge
of your wide brimmed glasses – again! –
to the point where champagne has grown stale
and stuttering, my hand in yours
yawns across the night –
count the drops of the pool and then run away
because taxi was waiting.

[b] Hi - you use a lot of strong imagery, but for me I think you use too many adjectives in the first five lines. Every noun has one, and the effect is a little overpowering. I'm sure when you tighten this up a little, you'll be happier with your poem. Thanks for posting!