07-04-2014, 05:48 AM
Hello!
this is my first comment, hope I can still be of help
- i think i like the theme of the poem, but I can´t be sure because don´t fully understand what you want to say. well that may be a recipient´s problem. also, english is not my mother tongue.
- is the poem about the curse of being too shy, too inhibited? or about not being understood by a shallow world?
- "They never knew him they say,
despite what he said.
They speak into their reflections,
his promises always ended in regret. "
just a suggestion: i would change the last line into:
" his promise ends in regret"
just for the sake of the rhythm.
greetings
this is my first comment, hope I can still be of help
- i think i like the theme of the poem, but I can´t be sure because don´t fully understand what you want to say. well that may be a recipient´s problem. also, english is not my mother tongue.
- is the poem about the curse of being too shy, too inhibited? or about not being understood by a shallow world?
- "They never knew him they say,
despite what he said.
They speak into their reflections,
his promises always ended in regret. "
just a suggestion: i would change the last line into:
" his promise ends in regret"
just for the sake of the rhythm.
greetings