Church Music

[billy]

first off, thank you for giving feedback elsewhere. it's appreciated.

there seems to be a lot of comma's
the poem has a real pastoral theme to it and the title works well in that it sets up a kind of dawn chorus though it feels more like the chorus of nature which for me is a good thing. it feels original and one of those pieces that intimate "of better times" just the one line that sort of didn't fit for me; [the question line] it just feels out of step with the scenery of the poem

thanks for the read.

In spring when the last bale is fed out
and before this year's crop,
another twenty thousand strong, if this is hay/corn or crops of some sort 20,000 seems on the low side, if it's a congregation it seems on the high.
fills the gaping space again,
a multitude build their nests is it a given the nests belong to the builders? if so is [their] needed?
along the ancient hay fork track
and in the dozens of corner braces
that grace the timber frame.

Long before first light
sporadic voices predict the dawn, i like how this sets up the stanza, it also makes it more clear for the reader to surmise what exactly the church music is.
and as the east begins to glow
a hallelujah chorus forms among the beams.
Amplified by half an acre of tin roof
is this rejoicing at the defeat of darkness. is it a question? a suggestion would be to lose [is this]
In the bones of a rural cathedral
exuberant praise for the morning.

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hi tomasmk;

just say what you think it's about, what is the sound you like and why? don't worry about not getting a poem and never blame yourself. we see what we see. if you read the feedback of others you'll probably get an idea of what the poems about. often poet wait till all or a lot of feedback is in before giving the game away, (it a way of seeing if they got thing across in a good or bad way.

hi!

im quite a newbie here so its surely my fault, but could you please clarify the meaning of the poem?
I liked the sound when I read through it

just say what you think it's about