Church Music

[ellajam]

Hey, you, first poem post, yay. I enjoyed it, I could hear the silent night awake into full chorus. Here are a few notes.

In spring when the last bale is fed out
and before this year's crop,
another twenty thousand strong, A little confusion here, maybe no comma. Another has nothing to refer to, maybe this year's or this June's or something better.
fills the gaping space again, period?
a multitude build their nests
along the ancient hay fork track
and in the dozens of corner braces Do you need the "and"?
that grace the timber frame.

Long before first light
sporadic voices predict the dawn,
and as the east begins to glow
a hallelujah chorus forms among the beams.
Amplified by half an acre of tin roof
is this rejoicing at the defeat of darkness.
In the bones of a rural cathedral I'm not sure you need the last two lines.
exuberant praise for the morning.

Just some thoughts to consider if you decide to edit. Lovely read.