He's a Poet who Don't Know It.

[LorettaYoung]

With thanks to Brownlie and Erthona: that I find myself in a college class of poetry; it was very kind, to me a kindred spirit loves the art and to see it passed on. If I were in a classroom I would have innumerable questions. I would want to know more about the concrete and abstract, and about cliche; there is much to learn; it's takes a desk and concentration, solitude. I will hope to learn why and what kind of poet I would wish for. I thank you so much, everyone has been so sharing, best Loretta

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He's a Poet Who Don't Know It (Free-ranging allowed, creative comments appreciated)

He's a poet who don't know it; -- I would avoid using a cliché for the title and first line. I think you can get away with bad grammar if you're imitating a way some people speak, but I'm not so sure here.
it's not of relevance to him,
his pride he thinks to stature win. --To stature win is awkward. I would never cheat to achieve meter. Always try and make it sound natural.
He seeks a mentor to guide his place
to please his clique, promote his face. -- Whenever you insert A rhyme scheme of AA it will be harder for people to take your work seriously.
His mind profound but lacking liberty, -- You seem to have omitted some crucial words that would hold up the sentence structure.

possessed to win applause and flattery.
On stage he plied the written words of art, -- written words of art is incredibly abstract, and thus somewhat meaningless. The more specific the more the reader knows what's going on.

divided from his self part; a broken heart
that questions, is he now upon the stage,
or words and heart in life engaged?

For he's a poet who don't know it.
He seeks to best the common place.
His aging ass would like to grace
a comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, poetic flair.
For one with practiced wits as he
who casts his nets with subtlety
and care; he tires then ascends the stair
and breathless falls upon a chair;
with age, though aspirations debonair. -- Debonair sounds incredibly forced, because you use simple language and then this pops up out of the blue. Plus, it is kind of a strange word. At least, that's how I see it.

Should he grasp the naked phantom there
and be the poet, and in his glory
smile to know it?

Still, it's buried in his heart apart,
and though it sings within his head;
he has no ear to hear, but fears to know it.
Yet, he is on fire within, of life's desires;
but seeking safety he conspires
to trample out those restless fires.
With all of everything, his age to doubt,
the decades growing thin without;
despite what dims the outer rim,
his secret treasure hides within, and sadly
still, he's a poet who don't know it.

Ok I like you and left you some notes. I'd like to see something a little more real from you, but people do like different things.

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Hi Brownlie: I conceived the ungrammatical title as a pun to his true abilities in language which should be, I hope, explained later. I can't run away from a cliche all the time. Thanks again, Best Loretta

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He's a Poet Who Don't Know It (Free-ranging allowed, creative comments appreciated)

He's a poet who don't know it; Have you been reading my crits? Is this a Dylan cliche?
it's not of relevance to him, You can and should end this sentence here. Why cantilever words into unstable structures when natural law says that you have made a single point?
his pride he thinks to stature win. A sentence; and a good one, if inverted it is. Give it credit.
He seeks a mentor to guide his place
to please his clique, promote his face. Hang on. How does one guide a place? You are enraptured with the poetic amour. Calm down and make sense. He seeks a mentor to secure/locate/define/ assert/ fix...I could go on but I would never say "guide"
His mind profound but lacking liberty, but me no buts. "and" or "though" would be unarguable. You imply that profundity somehow has an accepted affinity with libertarian thought. I don't.
possessed to win applause and flattery. Wot possesses?
On stage he plied the written words of art,
divided from his self part; a broken heart Wot is a self part?
that questions, is he now upon the stage,
or words and heart in life engaged? Dangerously close to gobbledygook. Needs clarity of meaning as this is not supposed to be obscure by intent.

For he's a poet who don't know it.
He seeks to best the common place. How does one best a place? Sorry. I am a pedant.
His aging ass would like to grace
a comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, poetic flair. Excellent
For one with practiced wits as he
who casts his nets with subtlety
and care; he tires then ascends the stair
and breathless falls upon a chair; Excellent again
with age, though aspirations debonair. Not excellent
Should he grasp the naked phantom there
and be the poet, and in his glory
smile to know it? Neither excellent nor crap. I don't get it.Should I?

Still, it's buried in his heart apart, AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Wot is "it"? You do not say. Should I guess? OK. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No. It sings...is it Kylie Minogue? I give up. Wot is it?
and though it sings within his head;
he has no ear to hear, but fears to know it. OK. Best I don't know. It is too frightening. It isn't Kylie, is it?
Yet, he is on fire within, of life's desires;
but seeking safety he conspires
to trample out those restless fires. The fire word is spreading[/b
With all of everything, his age to doubt,
the decades growing thin without;[b] Forced rhyme. You can't fool me
despite what dims the outer rim, Loretta, I need to talk to you about rims. In private. It's for your own good.You are a nice lady.
his secret treasure hides within, and sadly
still, he's a poet who don't know it.

Well, unless this piece is about Dylan Dementia I have no idea of the point but I think it may be about me. Or Dale. Or Milo.Or Billy. Or..or....
Best,
tectak( I can spell what)

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Still laughing; what a wonderful sense of humor. Loretta

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Well, unless this piece is about Dylan Dementia I have no idea of the point but I think it may be about me. Or Dale. Or Milo.Or Billy. Or..or....
Best,
tectak( I can spell what)

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Hi Tectak: I answered you line by line after your critiques in regular type so you can see it; I might add, laughing, all the while. Thanks so much; so much good advice; are my explanations understandable. Now, I must know about rims? Best, Loretta

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Ok I like you and left you some notes. I'd like to see something a little more real from you, but people do like different things.

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Hi Brownlie: Thanks for reading and commenting; and time. I never, ever heard the word "he's a poet but don't know it" before. Stature win; I agree; somewhat awkard, I will think it out and try to make it better. I felt like that line about the stage would give away that he is an actor. Debonair is a word I worked for; a contrast to his age and reflecting his desire for status. Thanks again, Best Loretta

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Ok I like you and left you some notes. I'd like to see something a little more real from you, but people do like different things.

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PS Brownlie: I didn't understand what you meant about he AA Rhyme. I thought The Picture of His Face was fairly real?

"l shall be free
no.10" by Bob Dylan. Plagiarist with plausible denial
Best,
tectak

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tectak: OK, change of title, "spit spot" Loretta

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true enough - the longer the foot, the looser the iamb.

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Hi Dale: go know, no he doesn' t think he's a poet and wouldn't care if he was; due to his busy and more relevant to him, his social stature. Can you please tell me what you mean by the longer the foot, the looser the iamb?
Do I really need a new title now; just because of Longfellow's feet? Thanks Dale (at least it's not Dylan). Oh gosh, the whole cliche seems backwards to me; wouldn't a common phrase of speech be an incentive for a reader? I've seen the word cliche so much it's a cliche! Thanks for the head's up, new title; REALLY? Best Loreta

It wasn't dale. it was me. just a dumb iamb joke. sorry, I thought you said free ranging was aloud.

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true enough - the longer the foot, the looser the iamb.

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Hi Dale: go know, no he doesn' t think he's a poet and wouldn't care if he was; due to his busy and more relevant to him, his social stature. Can you please tell me what you mean by the longer the foot, the looser the iamb?
Do I really need a new title now; just because of Longfellow's feet? Thanks Dale (at least it's not Dylan). Oh gosh, the whole cliche seems backwards to me; wouldn't a common phrase of speech be an incentive for a reader? I've seen the word cliche so much it's a cliche! Thanks for the head's up, new title; REALLY? Best Loreta

It wasn't dale. it was me. just a dumb iamb joke. sorry, I thought you said free ranging was aloud.

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Hi Trueenigma: yes, of course free ranging, that's the best, just fooling around as well. Best Loretta