Tuscany edit 0.003chris,billy,true

[just mercedes]

I've never been to Tuscany, but I've seen plenty of pictures, both painted and worded, to have an idea of the place. Your poem's language is really lush, to match the landscape I guess, but I stumbled on the constant alliteration and assonance. On the other hand, your rhymes are great, and the flow of your poem carries your reader along. Your meter count changes here and there, and archaic word 'whence' stands out. But hey, if I'd written this while pissed and on holiday in Tuscany, I'd feel pleased with it!

I like the 'dark Cyprus fangs' but hate 'amniotic amber'. Sorry I couldn't help more.