The Hour of the Wolf

[LorettaYoung]

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Abu suggest distant bells to introduce the shack and mimic the tick. I tried it but don't prefer it; is it because of the way it is written? I agree with everything else (not because of "meant" to kill) but your's is more poetic. I disagree at the clock, my first edits had the man being torn apart, vomiting,
pacing; therefore,, the clock was unknowing of the violent storm; yes, i know a clock is unknowing but I felt it symbolic; sorry about the punctuation; I feel like this is really your poem; boy, do I have work to do! Thank you very much. I will edit again if i can find where; for the last time. I hope you know how much I appreciate your time and effort. Best, Loretta

Loretta,

I hope I have not lured you from the straight and narrow. I had just been taken with the idea of several 'withins' dotted though the poem to pick it up. Some people like to put a poem away for a month or two, and then come back, but do emember it is yours -you make all the choices, and reject ideas which don't appeal, even if they come from Zeus himself, or tectak.

Amen to that.
tectak

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Loretta,

I hope I have not lured you from the straight and narrow. I had just been taken with the idea of several 'withins' dotted though the poem to pick it up. Some people like to put a poem away for a month or two, and then come back, but do emember it is yours -you make all the choices, and reject ideas which don't appeal, even if they come from Zeus himself, or tectak.

Amen to that.
tectak

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Loretta,

I hope I have not lured you from the straight and narrow. I had just been taken with the idea of several 'withins' dotted though the poem to pick it up. Some people like to put a poem away for a month or two, and then come back, but do emember it is yours -you make all the choices, and reject ideas which don't appeal, even if they come from Zeus himself, or tectak.

Amen to that.
tectak

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Amen to that.
tectak

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Hi tectak: it says on the forum that you posted a reply; I enter that and see only old messages; perhaps it's a mistake. Just for info. I am changing V1, L12 to "the man is pierced with mounting cause"
And L15 not sure whether to use, extinction or destruction. PS: If there was a class named tetak's class I would jump in; but I'm sure you'll be glad to get rid of me for a while. Really, thanks again, Loretta PS: if I missed a message that was important, please pm me because I can't find anything on this thread anymore.